New Year’s resolutions don’t work

This is definitely not a manifesto.

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I don’t trust New Year’s resolutions.

Not because I hate change. I love change. I love the idea of waking up on January 1st like a freshly unboxed human-being with a user manual, an expiration date, and a clean conscience.

I don’t trust them because they’re usually arbitrary bullshit wrapped in optimism. And optimism is not a renewable resource in this household.

Resolutions fail because they’re built like vibes:

“This year I’m going to be healthier.”

“This year I’m going to sleep more.”

“This year I’m going to stop doing the thing I do when life sucks.”

And then you miss a day, or you hit a wall, or your kid melts down in a Target parking lot and you accidentally eat your feelings through a drive-thru window like a wounded raccoon…

…and suddenly the resolution is dead, buried, and you’re back to living like the same old feral goblin—just with more shame and a water bottle with motivational benchmarks to track your water intake. Yeah, we suck so much at the basics that we need motivation and tracking to drink water.

So no.

This is not that.

This is a system.

And I hate that I’m saying that because it sounds like something a guy with a podcast mic and an expensive watch would say.

But it’s true, and i need this.

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The problem isn’t motivation. It’s the lack of a structure that survives real life.

Motivation is a liar. Motivation is the friend who says “I’m definitely coming” and then ghosts you because they “fell asleep.”

I don’t need motivation.

I need something that:

doesn’t rely on me “feeling like it”

doesn’t collapse when I have a bad day

doesn’t turn one mistake into a four-week spiral

doesn’t require me to become a completely different person overnight

So I’m running 2026 like a set of projects.

Not a self-help journey. Not a spiritual awakening. Not a “new me” fairy tale.

Projects.

Because projects have plans. Projects have scope. Projects have checkpoints. Projects have accountability.

And also because I’m apparently trying to use my personal life as project management practice, which is either genius or the first sign of a breakdown.

Anyway…

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Welcome to 2026: Project “Suck Less, Do Better”

This year’s goals aren’t just “get fit” or “be better.”

They’re specific, practical, and annoyingly adult.

The goals (aka “the list of things I’m tired of pretending aren’t problems”)

1. Get within passing Navy BCA standards.

New guidance is coming (because the Secretary of War doesn’t like fatties), so the exact target is evolving, but the reality is the same: I need to drop weight and improve body composition fast. I’m aiming for at least 30 pounds in the next 3 months. Aggressive? Yes. Impossible? No. Stupid? Only if I do stupid/dangerous things. I don’t want to elaborate too much here. Because I am not qualified to give medical advise or suggest what I do is right for anyone else.

2. Get ahead of my heart and liver health.

I need baseline screening. I need numbers. Not vibes. Not “I feel fine.” Actual data. Blood pressure down. Liver enzymes back in normal range. Progress tracked like an adult.

3. Sleep like a functioning mammal.

I checked my yearly average sleep and it was worse than I thought: 4 hours and 32 minutes a night.

That’s not “grind culture.” That’s “I’m slowly turning into a zombie.”

So I reset my goal to 5 hours to start, and I want to work up to a 6 hour average within 3 months.

4. Be more active on Substack (and maybe make more money).

I had so much fun when I started this adventure. But I ran into conflicting demands in my life, and writing got scrapped for more time IRL.

So I’m shifting toward shorter posts (except this one) that are easier to drop at least 1-2 a week. Progress journaling. Accountability. Occasional songs or creative writing whenever my brain decides to cooperate.

5. Earn meaningful certificates for a second career path.

I’m staying focused on PM/IT/Cyber for now.

Target: Windows PM cert completed by April 1st.

And yes, it’s absolutely going to be treated like a project sprint.

6. Finish more home projects without living in half-fixed purgatory forever.

Fence gates. Outlets. Fan switch. Kitchen paint. Bathrooms. The list will grow because it always does.

Goal: progress weekly, one way or another.

That’s the “what.”

Now here’s the part that matters: the structure.

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The Structure: A Daily Scoreboard (No excuses. No loopholes.)

This is where I stop pretending I’m a delicate little flower who needs gentle goals and motivational quotes.

I don’t do “a little.” I either go balls deep or not at all.

So I’m going balls deep…

…but without the classic all-in failure pattern:

ridiculous goals

perfectionism

one mistake turning into an avalanche

quitting because I missed a Tuesday

This scoreboard is how I stay honest.

Daily Scoreboard (0–9 + 1 bonus)

1) Physical Activity: 1 hour+ = 2 points. 30–59 minutes = 1 point

2) Diet (no calorie counting unless I stall): Start with 2 points. Subtract 1 for each trigger: overeating, junk food, or drinking.

Floor at 0 (no negative points, no shame math)

3) Sleep: 5+ hours = 1 point. 6+ hours = 2 points. Naps count if they’re 30+ minutes.

4) Content / Engagement: a note, comment, like, and restack x2 = 1 point. Published post = +1 bonus point.

5) Professional Cert Progress: 1 hour = 1 point

6) Home Projects: 30+ minutes = 1 point

Total: 9 points + 1 bonus

At the end of each day, one sentence:

How I’m going to suck less tomorrow:

One move. One adjustment. One decision that prevents the same failure pattern.

Day ratings

Green day: 7–9 points

Yellow day: 4–6 points

Red day: 3 or less

The point isn’t perfection.

The point is visibility.

Because you can’t fix what you refuse to measure.

And I’m done being surprised by my own choices like I’m not the one living in my body.

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The Journaling (aka the content pipeline I can’t avoid)

Every day gets a short entry:

score it

explain it

learn from it

decide what changes tomorrow

Example (realistic, mildly humiliating):

Daily Score Board January 1st:

1. 2 pts. 1:20 total workout time. VR workout + 1.63 mile walk after diner with the family (checked out the xmas lights on the boardwalk before they go away).

2. 2 pts. It was not a traditional diet day, and maybe not the best idea. But wifey had suggested the all-you-can-eat wings special before I decided to do this. However, I fasted all day and it was literally the only thing I ate. The wings weren’t breaded, so i avoided blowing my calorie limit. This will not be a normal routine.

3. 0 pts. I don’t know how much sleep I got. But it was NYE and I stayed up after watching Alien Earth. Again, not a normal routine.

4. 0 pts. I spent my time planning this out.

5. 0 pts. Nothing today.

6. 0 pts. I at least did some chores, but that’s not the assignment.

How I’m going to suck less tomorrow: I’ll actually have this plan, so I’ll be aware of the specific things I want to accomplish.

Total: 4/9 — Yellow… barely

Notes: I spent too much time trying to “figure out the plan” instead of doing the plan. I’m going to bed late tonight, so tomorrow I’m scheduling a nap but still going to get my 30 minutes of movement in, because I’m not ignoring my basic needs and snowballing bad decisions.

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Then once a week, I take the raw chaos, make it readable, and post a recap.

Because if I’m going to suffer, I might as well make it entertaining and profitable.

(That’s a joke. Mostly.)

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Weekly Recap: Results don’t get points. They get attention.

I’m not scoring weight or waist measurements, because those are outputs. Results. Lagging indicators.

But I am tracking them weekly because I’m not trying to be inspirational.

I’m trying to win.

Weekly recap includes:

weight + waist measurement

average daily score + color trend

progress toward each goal

what worked

what didn’t

what I’m changing next week

It’s not a highlight reel.

It’s a progress log.

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Why this works when resolutions don’t

Because this isn’t “I’m going to be better.”

This is “I’m going to do these specific actions today, score them, and learn from them.”

Resolutions are identity-based. This is behavior-based.

Resolutions collapse under shame. This system doesn’t care how I feel.

Resolutions die when you miss a day. This plan expects imperfect days and keeps going anyway.

And the biggest difference?

This plan is honest.

No pretending I’m magically going to become a morning person. No pretending I’m going to sleep 8 hours starting tomorrow. No pretending I’m going to write a masterpiece every week.

Just:

do what matters

measure what I did

adjust

repeat

So yeah. This is definitely not a manifesto.

It’s a structure for dragging myself back into the realm of functional adults without relying on hope, magic, or motivational posters.

I’m not aiming for perfection.

I’m aiming for progress that survives real life.

If you’re doing something similar this year—whatever your version of “suck less” looks like—tell me what you’re tracking.

And if you’re not doing anything…

That’s fine too.

But I’m done being surprised by my own story.

I’m writing it on purpose now.

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